7am Arivu

Language: Tamil

Actors: Suriya, Shruti Hassan, Johnny Tri Nguyen

Director: A R Murugadoss

The first 30 minutes moves like a documentary, one of those “The floods of Bihar” or “The visit of the Indian prime minister to Zambia we would have seen in the 80's before the start of a movie. Those are the 30 minutes spent to tell us who the principal protagonist of the movie is, Bodhidharma.

And then come a group of Chinese plotting against India and one woman who stands between their plots success or failure. And then of course the protagonist who will ensure the plot failed, his DNA, research lab, 3-4 songs and then the usual vanquishing the antagonist and the end.

The film starts okay but then nosedives to abysmal depths. Only Ravi K Chandran’s camera work and some slick stunts, thanks to Peter Hein and Suriya & Johnny’s acting skills are things worth a mention. Murgadoss even tries the tested formula of infusing / invoking the Tamilian pride but the attempt falls flat as one can’t understand what pride he’s talking about.

Let’s get one thing right, we are talking about someone who lived in the 5th or 5th century AD. At that point in time there wasn’t any Tamil Nadu (Tamil Nadu or Tamilian came into being only in the 50’s when the linguistic splitting of states happened). So there couldn’t have been a Tamilian and hence any attempt to colour anyone who lived in that era as a Tamilian is a convoluted argument (he was a Pallavan citizen who spoke Tamil, get that right). That is the argument our Dravidian politicians make to fool us. At max the only thing common between us and Bodhidharman is the language Tamil.

He is supposed to be a master in Charaka’s medicinal science – Charaka is not from any of the Tamil speaking kingdoms. He is supposed to be as expert Kalari practitioner – Kalari is a martial arts form from our neighbouring Kerala (we have Purananuru texts that say this art form was practiced in the Chera, Chola & Pandiya kingdoms). He is supposedly a Buddhist monk – Buddhism isn’t a phenomenon that originated from Tamil speaking kingdoms. So just because he came from a Tamil speaking kingdom we try to sell him as a great Tamil icon and invoke Tamil pride ? Isn’t that stretching the rubber a bit too far ??

The director could have invested in 2 or even 3 new faces (who could act) as heroine for the money he would have paid Shruti Hassan. Shruti Hassan reminds me of Rohan Gavaskar, talented father. Everyone can’t be as gifted as Rahul Gandhi, gifted with the ability to pull cotton wool over the eyes of the general public. We have already seen her music direction skills, now acting. She should apprentice with T Rajender to expand her horizons and prolong her film career.

There is nothing else one can talk about in this movie.

Watch it if you really want.

My wife is a gangster 3 (2006)

Country: South Korea

Language: Korean / Mandarin

Actors: Shu Qi, Lee Beom-Su

Director: Cho Jin-Gyu

Supposedly a sequel of My wife is a gangster 2, but has no relation or resemblance to the previous movies. Although not as boring as the 2nd installment, it tests your patience. And almost when it is running out comes one more action sequence and then you know that you are going to get salvation in the next few minutes. End of movie, the salvation we were waiting for follows quickly.

The movie travels across two countries, Hong Kong SAR & South Korea. A complex and confusing story which is only held together by the fight sequences and bloodshed.

The girl’s father is a Hong Kong gang lord. The girl end-up killing the rival boss and therefore is asked to leave the country till things cool down. She prefers to go to South Korea because that is where her estranged mother is. Then come some stupidly funny bits and some fight sequences in South Korea before the movie moves back to Hong Kong and ends.

The title is a bit of a stretch because the man doesn’t marry the gangster at all. In the last scene she accepts his proposal and they kiss and make-up and there is no marriage yet.

Three reasons why this movie fails

1. The wife is not a gangster: For there’s no wife in the first place

2. Except the action sequences there is nothing of any repute in this movie

3. Delete the action sequence away, this movie becomes a potential WMD (Weapon of mass destruction), you would be killed by boredom

The good points are the camera work (again in bits & pieces), the action scenes – if you are an action freak & some silly comedy (if you like those). Other than these there is nothing worth talking about.

22 Bullets / L'immortel (2010)

Country : France

Language : French

Actors : Jean Reno, Kad Merad, Richard Berry, Marina Fois, Jean-Perry Darroussin

Director : Richard Berry

A Luc Besson production, crime thriller. This movie is supposed to be the romanticized version of the life story of Jacky Imbert (Varadaraja Mudaliyar of Marseille !!).

The protagonist Charlie Mattei, a retired gangster (!!) is ambushed in a parking lot and left to die with 22 bullets lodged into his body. Of course he doesn’t die, how can he when are just 6 minutes into the movie ?

And now you know the story.

Yes, the man has to survive the 22 bullets and then go find the men who fired each of those 22 bullets and take revenge by killing them. In between there will be police and families of various gangsters and the protagonist himself to be kidnapped or killed to prolong the movie for 1:46 mins more.

Jean Reno is Charlie Mattei, has done a decent job with a poker face. The only thing you cannot watch him do is cry. Poor guy, the director has made him do that too. Kad Merad does well as the main antagonist, Tony Zakia. In my opinion he steals the thunder in this movie.

There is nothing more to talk about this movie, goes the way the usual gangster thriller goes... Blood, gore, bullets, car chases and then the movie ends with a moral of the story or some philosophy.

Watching tips : Split the movie into four or five parts. Take it one at a time and try and finish the movie in 2-3 weeks. I’m sure you’ll enjoy the experience but I’m not sure about the movie !!

Under Capricorn (1949)

Language: English

Actors: Michael Wilding, Ingrid Bergman, Joseph Cotten

Director: Sir Alfred Hitchcock

It is based on a novel of the same name by Helen Simpson. This is a very un-Hitchcock movie, a love triangle. Unlike the other Hitchcock movies that draw you by the edge of the seat, this one allows you to munch your popcorn seated steadily. If I were to rate this among his movies, this would be right on top… If I were to count from the bottom.

Trivia: The signature cameo of Sir Hitchcock occurs right in the beginning of the movie. As the new governor addresses the people in the town square, he is seen standing along the crowd.

He appears again in about 12 minutes into the film. This time he is seen talking to 2 men on the steps of the Governor house.

Watch it if you are a Hitchcock fan and wouldn’t want to miss any film of his !!

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002)

Korean by Park Chan-wook.

You might have seen violence in films, in this one the director goes a step ahead.

He gives you some film (very little...) between violence

Paul (2011)

English by Greg Mottola. In Sajan's words, "ET meets roadtrip".

Something bordering waste of time and did I really watch it !!

Cars 2 (2011)

English by John Lasseter. Animated James Bond on 4 wheels meets race cars of different shades on 3 different circuits.

It is like taking Swami & Friends out of Malgudi and putting them in Manhattan !!

Although the circuits are a visual treat, this one is not a shade on the previous installment

Hello Cinema (1994)

Persian by Mohsen Makhmalbaf. Celebrating 100 years of cinema !! More like a documentary